New Year, More You
New Year's Resolutions can provide those once-in-a-year opportunities to take stock of what's happening in your life -- in your relationships, at work, at the gym, you name it. We look back on who we've been and how we've shown up, and starting January 1, we decide to change. By February, if we're lucky, we'll be unrecognizable.
Change can be invigorating and exciting. But resolutions can also bring tons of unwanted pressure. What would you tell a friend who read three books last year and has resolved to read three books each month from now on? Or the friend who hates going to the gym but vows to go five days a week? Those are some big shifts! It's not impossible to make such a significant change so suddenly, and aspirations can be empowering. But what happens if their new habit hits a snag? They only read two books in February. They had a cold at the end of January and were too sick to hit the gym. What beliefs about oneself does not meeting a lofty goal reinforce?
So here's a challenge: what if this year isn’t about becoming a different person—but about becoming more you?
What do you love to do? What do you love about yourself? What's that thing that you miss from your younger years -- maybe before you had a stressful job, had to pay a mortgage, or had kids? Something I often see is people telling themselves stories about who they are and what they can (and can't) do. People can ignore their preferences and wisdom to chase something that doesn't fit, or become paralyzed by disappointment. It's so easy to forget our own capability and resilience when we're stuck in the status quo.
If you are looking to change a relationship, what is it that you miss about who you used to be in your relationship? What can you notice about how you and your partner are showing up? Your observations can spark meaningful conversations to transform your relationship into the best version of itself. Maybe it's taking turns inviting each other to activities or restaurants that interest the other. Strengthening your connection is key to any more specific resolutions you may have—if you plan to have a date night every week, wouldn't it be better to be excited about it than to dread it?
Living in Los Angeles can prompt many people to keep up with the Joneses -- whether it's comparing your success in the entertainment industry to a peer's, getting the fancier car instead of paying rent, or feeling bad that you don't have that chiseled bod that you seem to see everywhere you look. Chasing what you see can move you away from yourself. Instead of looking outside, trying looking inside. “New Year, More You” is not about shrinking your flaws or inflating your strengths. It’s about taking up space as a whole person—complex, unfinished, and deeply human. And honestly? That version of you has been here all along. How can this year help you become more... you?